So today is all about…babies.
Yes having children. When Julian and I got married we both knew that we wanted to have children. Maybe 2, maybe 3, or 4, and we have even talked a little about adopting. Who is to know what the future holds.
We both love kids, I will admit when I was a bit younger the idea of having kids made me shutter, I thought they were loud and obnoxious. But as I got older I started to love children. The way they laugh. The way they so easily trust. The way that they are easily pleased by having someone just play a game with them. This summer when we went to visit my family — note that on my dad’s side I have about 2,000 cousins — we would just play with the kids. For hours. We bought rocks off of them, yes worthless dirty rocks just to keep them happy. I found a satisfaction playing and loving on the kids. No one loves you more for loving them than a child. Once they started to tell Julian and I that they loved us all the time I was positive that I wanted some of these things called children for myself.
Then I started to handle more infants when it seemed like everyone in my Maechler family was getting pregnant all at the same time! And there was something in it, something I had never picked up on before. The beauty of it, having your own children is one of God’s biggest blessings to us. The way the mother holds her newborn baby and has pure love on her face. I had never experienced that before recently. Then seeing the dad walk in and just light up with love and he wants nothing more than for that child to be safe. My memaw always told me “Ashley ,there is nothing like having your own children, nothing compares to it. It is something that is just yours and your husband’s and it is the greatest thing in the world” before I thought she was nuts, but I think she has never spoken truer words to me.
I can pick up anyone’s baby, yes even a strangers, and love on them and play with them. Julian on the hand is absolutely terrified. The idea of holding the most important, fragile thing in front of their parents scares him to death. Seriously, when our little cousin Wade was born August 16th of this year (just one day before my birthday, and two days before Julian’s) I was so excited that he had been born just in time for us to see him! I got ready and said okay Julian let’s go, Julian looked at me like I was out of my mind.
Okay Julian let’s go, I’m ready to see the baby!
Julian: Blank stare
Me: Getting agitated — JULIAN we are leaving for Jonesboro tomorrow and we don’t have time to goof around are you coming to the hospital or not?!
Julian went on to explain to me that he doesn’t hold children. That he does not hold infants in front of the parents. What if I drop them? What if they start to cry? What if they wiggle out of my arms?
I stood there in disbelief and almost started to yell — YOU’RE TELLING ME YOU DON’T HOLD BABIES. YOU DON’T HOLD BABIES!!!!!!!! WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN WE HAVE CHILDREN? (Really I had already known this from our past experience at Thanksgiving where everyone in the house forced him to hold newborn Mikayla, it just really bothered me when he said it this time)
I may have went a bit overboard but Julian’s only response is: It will be different with my own child. I won’t be as scared to hold them, they will be mine. He is probably right and having to keep a child safe can be scary.
Anywho we aren’t planning on having children anytime soon. Hopefully sometime within the next 3 or 4 years! I could not be more excited.. Julian on the other hand is still a little hesitant. But who is to blame him, it is a huge responsibility and we both need to be 100% emotionally, physically, and financially prepared before having a child.
Here is a couple things I cannot wait for when we have a baby:
Julian and I playing with the baby
The baby coos and laughs
Having my parents and Julian’s parents be grandparents — I know they will be the best grandparents in the world. They are so loving and will definitely spoil the little baby rotten… our parents are suckers for babies.
Holding the baby and rocking them to sleep
Having firsts with the baby: first laugh, first crawl, first Christmas
The wonderful baby smell – baby shampoo
Watching the baby grow
Things I don’t look forward too:
The worrying that comes with being a parent
The waking up in the middle of the night. I have been blessed with the best sleeping habits ever. I never wake up in the night, I sleep like a rock. A drive by shooting could occur and I would sleep peacefully through the night.
Baby throw up, enough said.
Needless to say we are beyond excited about our future and what it holds.